


Beautiful

by thiscityisinsidious



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: BMC Summer Gift Exchange, Crisis, Fluff, For @riot-meme on tumblr, M/M, Michael Mell becomes more than a bro, Michael Mell is a good bro, boyf riends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 01:31:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20055838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiscityisinsidious/pseuds/thiscityisinsidious
Summary: It’s not beautiful, Jeremy thought, staring a little too long at Michael’s hair. The dim light above the sink silhouetted and lit it perfectly, and it had been tousled from a night of flopping and moving on basement floors.It’s not... He’s not…- - -For @riot-meme on tumblr as part of the BMC Summer Gift Exchange, hope you enjoy!





	Beautiful

_It’s not beautiful_, Jeremy thought, staring a little too long at Michael’s hair. The dim light above the sink silhouetted and lit it perfectly, and it had been tousled from a night of flopping and moving on basement floors. _It’s not... He’s not…_

– –

The last thing Jeremy needed at the moment was a sexuality crisis. The world, being as cruel and sadistic as it was, begged to differ.

The night had started the same way most others had. The two would meet up after school, jam all the way back to Michael’s house, conveniently ignore the likelihood of his car falling apart with them in it, raid the Mell’s fridge, and disappear into the basement. Easy plan to follow, easy plan to execute, and rest assured, Jeremy and Michael were experts in the field.

Nearing the end of their twelfth failed round of Apocalypse of the Damned, Michael flung himself backwards into his beanbag with a sigh.

“Too hard… Too fuckin’ hard.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Jeremy I am going to run you over one of these days, I swear to God.”

Despite the emptiness of the threat the two boys decided not to push it further, and instead fell back into a comfortable silence. November air outside and poor insulation in their shitty basement dwelling forced the two to create an elaborate blanket fort and lay closer than was heterosexually acceptable for two teenage boys (despite the lack of heterosexuality from at least one member of the party).

Giving up on the game, Jeremy watched as Michael began to scroll through his movie collection. “Mmm… Wargames? No, too involved for this late… Stand By Me? Nah, I’m not in a Stephen King mood. Wait, why the hell do I only have eighties movies?”

Jeremy laid upside down on his beanbag in a daze… _Were his eyes always that dark of a brown? They were kind of beautif-_

“-eremy? Jer? Yo space cadet, how do we feel about Ferris Bueller?” Jeremy shook his head a little and rubbed at his eyes.

“Sounds good,” flipping right side up, “Wait to start it, I’ll be right back.”

Jeremy struggled his way out of their fort and stumbled toward the stairs a little. He filled a glass with water and sat on the kitchen counter, careful to stay quiet and not wake Michael’s sleeping mothers on the second floor.

He gripped the glass tightly and closed his eyes, trying to rationalize his thinking. _Bros can totally love each others eyes. Totally._ Why was he struggling with this? Jeremy loved Michael’s moms, and was his biggest supporter when he came out as well, but couldn’t bring himself to admit that maybe he wasn’t the straightest. It would explain a lot, really, his fixation on Marty McFly and Duran Duran and _Wow, did he and Michael watch and listen to a lot of eighties._

He had always admired those with exorbitant amount of pride, and never understood why he felt so insecure and longing around them, except, now he did. Jeremy Heere had just had a sexuality crisis and internal exploration session in Michael Mell’s kitchen at one in the morning._ Fuck_

Jeremy heard footsteps behind him and refused to open his eyes. He had recognized Michael’s gait. “You good, Jem? It’s been half an hour…”

“I-” Jeremy opened his eyes and took a minute to gather his thoughts, “I’m good, better now, I think, but fine. Sure.” Michael, ever the saint, said nothing about the feet on his countertop, and instead hopped up to join the other boy.

He ran a hand up the shaking, _Wait, when did that start?_, boy’s back and into his hair. It was a soft moment of silence in the kitchen.

Jeremy loved how Michael never rushed him to speak. Jeremy loved how he knew how to comfort him in moments of rampant and abrupt crisis. Jeremy loved Michael’s hands running through his hair, and his comforting weight against his side, and his voice softly calling,

“Jem?”

He turned his head to look at him, hand falling from his hair. Still not completely back to normal, Jeremy’s eyes fell on Michael’s hair. Michael raised his eyebrows,

“Ready to go downstairs?” Jeremy nodded in response, but wasn’t paying attention to what he agreed to. Taking Michael’s hand, he slid down from the counter.

_It’s not beautiful,_ Jeremy thought, staring a little too long at Michael’s hair. The dim light above the sink silhouetted and lit it perfectly, and it had been tousled from a night of flopping and moving on basement floors. _It’s not... He’s not…_

_Oh…_

So maybe it wasn’t little things about Michael he loved, it was all of him. He stood frozen on the floor, gaze dropping to meet the other’s.

“I think… I think I just had a sexuality crisis.”

– –

“Joining the Not Straight Gang?” Michael asked after coaxing Jeremy back into the basement and to a less anxious state. His head still rested in Michael’s lap as both hands threaded through his hair,

“Yeah… Yeah I definitely think so.”

The answer seemed unfinished, yet still they lapsed into another comfortable silence.

“Hey Micah?”

“Hmm?”

“I think I’m like… Totally gone over you.” The hands moving through his hair paused for what felt like hours, and resumed after seconds. “You wanna, like, grace me with an answer? Or can we leave it there so I can drown in anxiety once it sinks in?”

“Shit, yeah, no, sorry, just processing.” Michael began to connect the dots in his head.

When enough dots were connected to satisfy him, he looked at the boy in his lap, and brought a hand from his hair to trace his cheek. “Yeah… Yeah I can roll with that, I’ve been waiting a while for this.”

“For what?”

“You to realize you liked me back, like a lot, but I knew you had shit to work through that you didn’t see yet, so I’ve been waiting to tell you how much I love you.”

“You knew? I didn’t even know?”

“You’ve been giving me looks like I stole the moon just for you for a while now, and it makes me feel like I’m on top of the world, how could I not notice? But I’m so glad that we both know now.”

“Hmm, me too,” Jeremy took a breath, the dead of night wasn’t the ideal time for things this hard hitting. “Guess now would be a good time to tell you that I think you’re beautiful?”

_ _“Well, just as long as I get to return the favor.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> I took a turn from the classic boyfs fluff and made this a bit melancholy. All of the 80's pop culture in here is stuff I love and highly recommend, and I listened to the Pet Shop Boys while I wrote this if you'd like the soundtrack to the feeling I was trying to convey. I'm so sorry this was late for the gift exchange! I wanted it to be the best it could be, and I hope you enjoyed it!


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